Hey, it’s me. I just sat with you for awhile. Just sat. I got the messages. Too many to write here but I’ll write a few. The circus has come to me a few times. I like this analogy for my mind. My monkey mind. I picture a circus tent and within that tent is my mind/my thoughts/my ego. The circus is filled with so many things, going on all at once, the noise, the juggling, the animals, the people flying to and frow. I see it. I don’t always realize I’m in the tent but when I can step out of it, it’s quieter and I can see that tent and realize that it’s all a circus, a show and it’s not real.
Outside the tent I can see what’s happening. There’s costumes and music and distractions and face paint, the circus is real in a sense but not real at the same. And further more I don’t have to stay in the circus and believe everything I’m seeing/thinking.
The horse came to me outside the circus. I stood looking over at the tent. I could hear the noise, I could see a little through the slit in the tent side. And I stood with a horse. I kept trying to get on the horse but I couldn’t get up. So, I’d pet him and feed him carrots or apples and stroke his mane and try again to jump up but I couldn’t. Then I heard it. “It is not your job to get on him and control him. You can love him and run with him.” And I understood it was a message about the anxious-ness I feel all too often. Not always knowing why.
It isn’t my job to control it. To stop it. Direct it. To make it yield to me and my internal screams of STOP. That’s enough. No. My job is to Love. All of it. Fully.
My job is to run with it. Take care of it. Bathe it. Feed it. Nurture it. As if it was a friend. Consume it in Love without control. And this is how I can live in harmony with discomfort. Riding it. Trying to force it this way and that only keeps me strapped to saddle instead of allowing the horse the opportunity to run free.
Maybe one day that horse will decide to run off into the wild with the other horses, but for now and even if that never happens, I can Love that horse with all my heart and take care of it and comfort it; and within that Love I am free. I am free. No reins building calluses within my hands. No legs burning while trying to squeeze and hold on to the back of the horse. No worry about where I should steer this horse. There’s just Love. Acceptance. And the whole of me.
From my heart to yours,
Divine writings. Unedited. 11/7/20
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